4 A.M.²

I'm feeling such a vacancy,
I don't feel whole
Wish I could put my finger on it
Acapella- Human -Brandy

4 A.M.²
Its my turn
My turn to somehow be honest
Some days i feel empty because of him
I just simply feel alone
because he's all ive ever known
and
some of you wont ever know
because it gets to personal
and thats where the wall
falls
comes in
and
Thats when
the dark clouds descend
and i tend to become someone else
all because
something and someone is missing
theres a void
that i want so badly to destroy
i feel sometimes
guys dont understand me
My thought process is a bit twisted
And i want to fix them
They are little help tho
Its those ones with the y chromosome
its them ones that always wanna bone that
end up on the other end of my phone
trying to ease their way into me
and somewhere you have to draw the line
Never have i cried over a guy
i mean those boo-whos
because i feared his love i would lose
Never have i felt strongly for SOMEONE
I just always feel strongly about ideas ..
So the idea of love
the idea of not being alone
the idea of having the other
some relations tho ..
you should just end
Call it quits,
hope that person you dont miss,
and say
I deserve more
I just have yet to find the one who understands that
not every girl wants her back blown out
then there are some days where i doubt
that their even looking for that
one that doesnt
the one like me
the one with the mistaken identity
that one who somehow gave guys
the impression that all i was good for was undressin
I wanna love with my clothes on
thank you very much
i want to know all the rest
i wanna start in reverse
lets save the "best" for last
because i put it first before
and now i wonder what kept him more
I just want to know that your not
just going thru the motions
Just to get next in line
Show me some how that you know what
loves like when the lights are on.

♥Sick

My mascara runs down my face
and with drinks i chase them
now im playing tag with myself
now im taking every bottle off the shelf
Trying to somehow fill that space
i tried so hard to put you into
push you into
pull you into
but
we just dont fit
and it sounds like simple shit
stll im having fits
I sink deeper and deeper
into this pain
and some days
im so used to the hurt
i cant even feel it
I become numb
and
i cant even
get up and run
from this dark place
that seems to always find my face
regardless of the lies i hide behind
Wish there
was a warning sign
a "dont enter"
or
a "caution inside" sign
Just some kind of guide
that would have pulled me aside and gave me the time
to think
Of the bullshit
and all the hurt it might bring
with these drinks i cling to my those days
where you made my heart sing
Now it just burns
because of how bad i want you to return
it does it really have to hurt this bad
for the lesson to be learned?
now my heart stings
because
i still bleed that love i wanted you to have
And as
i refill this empty glass
i wonder
how long
how will this empty feeling last?
how long
how long does it take to just get past?

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Say You'd Stay

As you walk towards my door

Im so used to letting you go

Not knowing if or when we would do this again

Feeling indifferent to this routine

I cant continue anymore

So

As you leave

My heart calls out to you

Before my mind can stop my heart

Here i am speaking

I'm giving it all to you

Telling my secrets and pushing my limits

Shit, its

so much that i've kept built up

'Fraid if i tell you

it would end our rendevous

It just might be too much

and if it is then

we can always hang it up

and say we've had enough

See

I never intended to ever get to this point

Figured I wouldnt fall under

Swore i would ignore the things you'd say

Swear I'd never feel this way

Since I do

Its best that I tell you

Are you listening?

Im begging

Now

I'm pleading

How you've got me wrapped up so easily is beyond me

Only thing left is to get on my knees

baby

i ask then

then will you be able to see

just how much i need you to stay

Why don't you see things my way

Something said ,when you left that bed

for me not to not follow behind

Something says your only here to recieve

my heart just doesnt want to believe

Mind tells me to be still and let you go

i tried so many times so long ago

my heart just cant do so

Please dont make this so hard for us

just tell me you'd stay

I cant stand to see you leave like you used to

what do you say

baby

why dont you stay

Classic

Imagine
A love
stringed together by key things like
Integrity
A love filled with
Passion
A love lasting because of discipline
listening
to each other
A love starting with
Trust
I want to blow the dust off
Ol' School Love
Ressurect the days
When taking women out wasn't considered a payment plan for the pussy
Back to not moving so fast
flying pass all the essentials we should be paying attention to
We dont have to move too slow
together just be willing to grow
get to know all the little things
All our wrongs we work to make right
Together
I want to find the silver lining in love
without the tears without the lying
Baby, It is with you
I am trying.

Leaving.

I didnt say you can go
I never gave you the okay
to walk away
I wasnt finished
I was still in it
We were no where close to done
things were next to perfect
Nothing came close to being with you
I ask myself will this ever end...
i guess good things really do
I wasnt thru
I wanted to remain true to only you
You promised me you'd stay
but today shows me otherwise
this must be on of those
"blessings in disguise"
because i cant figure out why
...
..
now is the time
you have to leave..
When you left
know that you took my words
because i dont know what to say anymore
minus i love you
but you cant hear me
im alone and talkin to myself
hiding from my reality
and sadly i dont want to find it
when i come to i'll realize ...
i have to live without you
somethin that feels impossible to do
leaving me shouldnt have been a option nor a choice
when i have to speak on your absence
i have no voice
Im constantly talkin to myself as if you are there
but you've left.. and im far from right
i fear for my mental health
I start to lose sight of my life
You didnt have the option of leaving me
who knew "forever" was deceiving
who would have thought
id be receiving that call
ending it all...
im in a mood thats past confused
its true
expect the unexpected
i need you here with me
i need you near to me
i want to argue like we used too.
i want you to piss me off
if anything ..
i just want you here leaving me is not an option
I see you when i close my eyes
i wake up and your there
staring me in my face every place i go
...and i know in my mind ...
that little sanity that has been pushed over to the side
your not even alive ...
I realize that its unbearable to survive
without you
you lied to me
we were supposed to be much more than the tears i cry at night
because thats
when it hits me that im in this shit alone
As a lay i ask myself for the hundredth time
why are you stuck in my mind
I still hear the words you've said
love scenes play in my head
remembering our conversations brings temptations
for me to join you ..
So no you dont get to leave ...
because i wont let you go.

If only

If the possibility of a mistake
was not a thought
if the idea of getting caught
didnt scare me half to death
only then i would continue to partake in this sin
So what we use protection
its when we get comfortable that leaves me guessing
because
anything is possible
I dont want to be a statistic
because the dick couldnt be resisted
If I wasnt risking my sanity and my vanity
when i lay with you
maybe i would more often
maybe i could bring myself to let you continue
i could let you push me past anything i ever did
and i wouldnt pull away
Sex just aint that as pressing as i once thought it was
No longer curious
its official that the bad outweighs the good
I dont want to be that girl pushin strollers in the hood
looking at my baby daily
and then having to tell
her that
her father didnt bother enough to stay
If i knew that
in some time
9 months to be exact
You would still be there
doctors visits, mood swings ... and everything that comes between
If the shit got real
Could you deal ??
If i really felt like i wouldnt be left by myself
Only if
the possibilitly of a mistake
Didnt lay so heavily on my mind
If a slip up after you've slipped in
didnt result in
people askin
when am i due?
Only if there wasnt the possibility
that id lay awake at 5
because im being gutted from the insides
If I could deal with being twice my size
only then would i compromise ...
If your load mistakingly creates a load for me
what in hell would we do then
yes ....WE
If my weight gain didnt possibly result in the loss of you
then i continue to do the do
If i thought that if my monthly never showed up
you wouldnt respond like "i aint the only one you fucked"
Only if
there wasnt the possibility of making a mistake
only then ..
would
the
sex
be
great.

As of now

MOVE on ..
I cant
if i could
i wouldnt
i will always go back
it is just like that...
its the way of the world
I will always be connected to the beginnings
Its where I started it all that I want to keep running to ..
the connection is a deeper than can see .. and the more i think about it
its funny u see..
I say
fuck it
there's no use in trying to fight it
im done lying and denying to
myself and others
Im into him and will always be
and i dare you to ask me why
even better question me
and understand my reply ..
cuz dammit i dont even understand it myself sometimes
what i felt never really left
Some things are forever ..
just as some people are extra clever
what ive done is
.. grown to deal
with what it is i feel
I dare you
to debate what i say
tell me this shit makes no sense
and I
will agree
you see
somethings have no explanation
im past the stages of cute flirtation
i want more
My desire for something real are much higher
Now than before ..
when i was your titleless now and later
and its later and im still playing by old rules
feels like..
but...
i want to give you more
than the just the time of day
than just a place to play
I want to give you more
I
AM
more than a playground
Sex is overrated ...
its overweighted
I dare you
to
argue me on what I just stated
too much as been placed upon how addicted you can make me
I addicted I can become
I dont want to be addicted to dick
let me be addicted to your mind this time

During sex
id like to be sedated..
If i wasnt there it would be easier to bear
If i could step outside myself ..when you want to be pleased
i could do everything you asked with such ease
But i cant
I cant step outside of myself
and be something else
im me
and im more than the eye can see
so im more than this body ..
more than your sexual fantasies
So lets talk
lets have a conversation
this is the dream im chasing
im tired of sitting in frustration
feeling the same sensation
like i'm racing alone and chasing
a destination that isnt there
holding on to
an unattainable emotion that we may never share

I should be sleeping...

Its when I'm left alone
I realize how much I can stand to be that way
I can only survive so long alone
When I'm by myself my thoughts take over
And I dont really know how it got to this point
but
Most times they're negative
I need something to give my attention to
so i wont feel like this
I want to forget what im going thru

I'm ready to curse and scream
my phone wont ring ...
i just keep getting text messages ..
from the only person that gets me ..
(most times)
others wont take the time to..
tell me im crazy and walk away from me
leaving me
alone...
but uhm .. yea phones not ringing ... tv's not on..
its just me
and this song thats lying to me..
"somebodies gon cry tonight... but it wont be my tears tonight"
They will be
...but i digress
Sleep doesnt come easy..
I stay up late and I wake up early..
Its as if im expecting something..
But as i wait .. nothing ever shows up
so next to being left sleepy ...im left dissappointed
I'm hungry ... but im too lazy to get up .. because that means
i have to do a store run..
its 7.50...
in the damn morning ..
I'm on edge ...
So im jumpin between 3 things
Either i'm sad
angry
or happy...
And then there's times where I cant tell what I am
I have a chemical imbalance ....
its the only thing that makes sense
to me..
I'm up ...lit and wired...
people in their correct mind .. would be sleep at the moment
but I
I'm up .... staring at this bright ass laptop
Im ready scream
and
curse
I dont think
people get what is Im going thru
i need people i can count on
I need people to understand my situation
I do have an issue ... and i do things i cant really help
only thing i ask is that you dont hold it against me
because I truly dont like being alone ..
It gives me time to think ..
about the bad things
ones that haunt me in my sleep
.... maybe thats why im always awake
i dont like not knowing whats goin on
its why i always ask why...
its why i dont like being ignored....
I'm losing parts of my mind .. its official ... but dont worry about me
Because in an hour
I'll be in a different world.

yea..so...uhm

Believe.

Love N Hate

what is it that keeps me coming back

What is it that has me hiding from the facts
what is it that wants me to be honest
what is that wants you to lie sometimes
... because the truth hurts too much

what is it that keeps me from wanting to walking away

what is it that stops me from hating you

... what stops me from loving you

what is that stops us from understanding each other
what is it that keeps me from letting go

what is it that makes it hard for me to say no

what is it that makes me want to love

...makes me hope for love
what is it that reminds me of the good over the bad

..... the same that reminds me of the happy rather than the sad

what is it that makes me take chances with you

What is it that makes me wait by the phone

what is it that makes me not want to be away from you

what is it tho that keeps us apart for so long

what is it that makes me still think of the you

what is it that makes me so selfish
what is that makes me happy to see you
what is that makes me glad when your gone
what is that makes me cry like nothing else can
what is that makes me want you
what is that keeps me thinking that there is a possibility of any thing
what is it that gets my hopes up even after they are let down
what is it that makes me get up early...
what is it that makes me ignore warnings
..makes me blind to the caution signs
that say this may never work
what is it that keeps the thought of you and what you do in my mind ....
...even after such a long time
what is that makes me not care if it doesnt work out
....trying is enough
What is it that makes me forgive
What is it that makes me throw those mistakes back in your face
what is it that makes me never wants your space replaced ..
What is it that makes me pay any attention
What is it that makes me ignore you
...sending your calls to voicemail
what is that i give the control to send me thru an emotional hell sometimes
what is it that makes me not want to fight you ....
what is that makes me want more
what is that makes you boring sometimes
what is that makes you blow my mind other times..
Why
is it that
I
feel
like
this
inside.

The Cycle

Joy and Pain
Love and hate
past and future
First and Last
Black and White
truths and lies
one thing that keeps them tied
that thin line
how easy it is ...
to be on that line
all the time
day and night
always unable
to make up your mind
opposites and sames
What are we to think of this game?
How many times in life do we play it ...
This never ending trend
of having to forgive
not knowing when its really the end ...
and who tends to the broken hearts... and shattered dreams
Since the ones that hurt you usually leave and if they stay things wont ever be the same
Ive started to hold everything against everybody..
holding things against people who've done nothing to me
i never forget anything though..
doesnt matter what they've done
little or small
i remember it all
seems like if i let them back in
the same shit happens again ..
Feel like i cant fuckin win ...
same ol shit
Some situations you just cant fix with gifts or even words ..
none of it is truly the solution
material things
cant help what im feeling
its the one thing you cant buy
Time is the only thing that can change minds ..and heal the inside
There's no one word to fulfill
what i feel
I dont know what to say to get my message across
Im at a lost of what to do
when im not in control
I dont like this roll
I hate losing ... and then losing in a game thats been played before
its like
Closed doors left unlocked ..the past can always welcome it self back in
And its up to you whether out not you want to deal again
I dont think i can play the same game twice but i find myself ready to roll the dice
And take my chances ... again
Somethings pushing me from within to just give
Maybe i wont get the same result in the end ..
Everyone makes mistakes .... but we play the forgiveness game and so things arent the same ... supposedly ...

Truth.

In a world of people who contridict themselves

how am i supposed to tell who's telling

the truth

Its true honesty is the best policy

It doesnt let me lead a life so blindly

So I thank you ever so much ahead of time

if you keep in mind to keep those lies to yourself

Put them on hold, leave them on the shelf and save them for someone else

Because

I

dont want to hear it

have a hard time letting people in life

see it as just a waste of time

since so many people lie

dont have the patience to tell truths from lies

some sound so good

I want to believe it

But then I think about the day

I'd realize what they say is nothin but lies

just to think about the hurt i'd have inside

I dont want to let anyone in my life

Im sensitive beyond belief, but you'd never see that because i wont give you the chance to

Instead im defensive and what i say may sound rude

it keeps me away from some really good people

but people aint always what they seem to be

i dont trust people so easily

this applies especially to guys

all them ones who run game

you should be ashamed

Claming me her and she

saying false things just so you can get between

must be that desperate for sex

Dont fill my head with that bullshit you talkin

i'd appreciate it if you kept on walking

if you not gon tell me the truth

Dont beat around bushes that i can see thru

AND

if its sex you want lets not have a conversation

that'll only add to my frustration

Since i know you dont care about shit I got to say

Since sex is what you want anyway

Dont bother asking for my name

Cuz i cant stand this game

The lines you use the things you say

Its why i cant take compliments ..

See I read between the lines.. even when theres nothing there

When a guy is inclined to say oh she's cute or oh she's fine

that one line that comes next

do she gotta man .. ima make her mine

And when I hear, it appears like this

you tellin me im cute to get me to listen

Asking for my number so you can come and visit

Making me yours by leavin your mark

and when i dont let you in thats when the shit starts

and i'll never hear from you again

Same shit diffrent toilet

whicheva way you want to call it

I

dont like when people have hidden agendas

I have a wall .. built by 17 years of negative ideas

Takes a long time to tear down but seconds to re-build

things that tear it down are things that are real and i can truly feel

If its any other way ..

Ill keep building brick by brick... until I something real hits ... will i be ready to quit.

Perfect World

If this is the last time we speak then wes
should say what we truly feel
we must keep it REAL
dont hold back
as a matter fact
if we say what we mean and mean what we say
then we
should say what we feel and feel what we say
Speak to each other as if we might die today
if we dont wake up tommorrow
imagine the sorrow that are unspoken thoughts will cause us
there's a severity when it comes to clarity
we need it
when shits not clear you could be left wondering for YEARS
using unnecessary tears because of the fear just SAYING IT puts into you
they tell you from the age of three to USE YOUR WORDS
so how come no one speaks no one says what they truly mean
Actions speak louder than words
SO SAY IT
dont debate it
dont wonder
whether or not
if it should be said
if you feel it and you stay silent
if you stay quiet
you have left it all unknown
and knowing that we cant read each other minds
why
dont
we
just...
SAY IT this time
and not just this time but every time
we find ourselves stopping short of the truth
they say the truth hurts
kill me then
thats how bad i want people to say whats real
i cant decipher lines and i dont have the time try
I cant know whats on your mind if you dont
SAY IT
i ask you
why dont we speak from our hearts
why must we continously play parts
play roles ... no one seems to speak from their soul
is it that bad are we that scared of the reactions
are we that scared of what happens?
Lets not leave room for guessing
Time is of the essence , i cant waste it on an assessment of what you might be meaning
leave no room for assuming
If we speak like its our last conversation
then we wont have that temptation
to question our past
the answers are all there you just have to ask
so...
YES that means USE YOUR WORDS
But i was informed only in a PERFECT WORLD.

Untitled.

Yellin'
Screamin'
tears steady streamin
me steady thinkin that i could get my "friend" back
but this is what it is
this is how we act
childish
simple as that.
much more needed to be said
i was in over my head
much more than i could deal with
i couldnt help but to think
It
wasnt over
i wasnt done
Started somethin
i wanted to finish
but you werent in it
it was a
fun n run
i watched you walk away
after you played
and the things i heard you say
still i cant believe today
but cant trust everybody
let alone a nigga
like you who
honestly doesnt have a clue
and doesnt bother to get one
So i wondered some days ..
is this is what it is
is this is how it ends
guess now we cant ever make amends
Funny the things you give for "friends"

Over it.

I'm done fuckin'
y you ask?
Bcuz I have been givin it up
and 4 what
what reason?
guys comin and goin like seasons
No gifts No love
Just sex
nothing next
I mean it wasnt right
but that didnt make me put up a fight
n trust i'd do it again
you have to lose sometimes to win
Extasy filled cries
lines like i love you
are misused
always followed by oooo's
Maybe
that means something to you
But not to me
Can we
for once leave the sheets
please can you talk to me
this time
stimulate my mind and you cant
reach that
thru my thighs
I had to tell you that because looked a little taken a back
You only said "i love you" that
night because I did somethings I never do
You
took me to places I never been
had me facing my fears
your love
i mean sex .. so good had me near tears
best i ever felt in years
Came back 2 back
i mean .. back 2 reality
I saw exactly what've become
confused for one..
cuz
fucking isnt loving just lusting.

ThatDeal.

If you know that you that deal
got looks that can kill
1 of the baddest that b real
and can handle yo own bills
tell him
just how you feel
that one stopping the show
constantly having to tell them no
body got em dreamin
heavenly is what they scream
They beggin to make you cream
Sex is all they see they still beggin please please please
got em asking what its like inside them jeans
While they thinkin up some scheme just to get in between
trying to get you to lean
they way
So you lean in real close and this is what you say
I'm that deal n i got that ill
but you not slippin and slidin
tonight
i'm tired of you tryin
so chill
aight?

"No, i dont care"

u know he shits and sleeps breathes and drinks
like the rest of us
i dont see what makes him so damn special
that u cater
to his every need
making sure his every desire is met
fuck his selfish self
he is like any other what is really setting him apart
bcuz he freaks u like u like it or he buys u nice things
If there is no RING then this shit is just a fling that nigga is not your king
and with me saying This
What really makes u take his shit and take his hits?
If
I was you i would truly be thru
4 the life of me
i dont see it
He eat sleeps and breathes like u and me but yet he gets away with everything
as if his seat was next to jesus
please just
help me understand
how this one man can get all up in your head like this
shit
is it
the way he kisses u calls u boo hugs u tight yet
lies thru the night and not in your bed
So really like i said
is this nigga all he is cracked up to be
Sad sorry ass negro i'd tell him to get his shit and go

"Peace(piece)" and "forgotten me 4 he"

Peace(Piece)

I search for peace
So at night i can sleep
I search so i can stop screaming
stop my anxiety and my crying
No more deciet no misery no lying
Thought
i would find that peace in him
so I gave him that piece of me that no one else had seen
i let him recieve
i believed in us
i trusted that he would b my peace
but we see how that turned out
just like the deceased the peace was quickly taken away
he left with my peace see now i'm uneasy
its hard forme to believe another is here for me
i'm left with doubt
still i'm searching for my peace giving pieces of myself
All the while i'm trying to figure out what my search is really about ...
its to find peace in myself
to not look to him for my wealth
and my self worth
alone if i have to be
i can make this all work,
finding peace while keeping the pieces of me.

All that time
I had forgotten all of what was mines
My attention was all on how to blow your mind
time after time
I didnt mind the little part of my life
i was willing to sacrifice
Until a little turned into alot
And all of myself i had forgot
see i was no longer me i was perfectly and completely
made up of your dreams you I pleased continuously
Whatever however you wanted
I tried it , I lied and told you I liked it
I forgot I was owner of myself
It was you I gave me to
I changed my everything for you
yet and still you wanted to play games like a fool
I wanted to keep you happy so i desired to be your fantasy
So i did everything you asked me
I even did extra
for you it was my pleasure
because i was thinkin it would keep you 4eva
But you was extra cleva
You had many different ones
being who i was....
pretending to be for you
I wore the heels in the kitchen and in the bedroom i was dippin lower than before because you and your love i adored
And i continued to do what you wanted me to...
never did i want you to become bored
Myself i continued to lose, somewhere i had to refuse
it was gettin to a point where giving myself i could no longer afford
I was your cookin
cleanin
freak
Who keep you screamin
Dream N'(and) i thought that you had my back
thought u wouldnt find reason to walk
Although no gold.. no hold
No rings just a fabricated dream you cut out for me based on what you felt you may need
So our realtionship was bullshit based on things... i was your... barbie fantasy
I was too forgivin and too willing to give myself away to you
Somethin now i would never do
Though it took time to see i was playin your fool
I looked in the mirror one night and i tried
to find myself and it took
too much time
When i saw me finally I didnt see that girl you called freak
But that woman you shoulda called queen
and accepted 4 who she be.

"Untitled." and "The type"

1
2
3
She can't sleep
thoughts runnig deep
about this man who cheats
thinking about how he is about to catch heat
for all the years she has wasted lovin him
not this time she thought
he will not win
coming in late
not today
not tonight
no way , no how
4 rolls around
as she waits by the door
contemplating her next step
thoughts about all the regrets
the things she could never forget
now beginning to lose her mind
she starts to drink to past the time
not wanting to hear his tired lines
Closer comes 5 and the decison is made
driven by rage
as he walks through the door
his games she would no longer play
She evens the score
3 shots maybe 4 she's ended this war
saying goodbye before saying hi
without any delay no hesitation no pause at all
she watches as he takes the fall
taking his lies with him
no longer does she care to be his wife
Time now 5
him no longer alive
the beginning of a new life
her eyes begin to cry
the sun begins to rise
and with it comes the "mourning"

The type to think he really had mastered the art
but its always over before it really starts
Type to never care about hearts
Never there when you call, but always wants you to answer his call
The type who comes and goes when they please
The type to fuck around
The type to think he's puttin it down
Type to think he is the best thing walking
nevermind all that shit he talkin
The type to use baby and boo because your name he can't remember
Type to go around tryin to run game
Type to think the girls aint doin the same
The type to think they foreva pimpin neva ever gettin played,
they musta not realized the game has changed
Type to talk shit and call you out
but the
Type thats always forgiven
but never willing to say " I'm wrong, I'm sorry"
The type that i'm always attracted to
but the type i can never trust
The type you really be expecting the best from
but you always come up with less
Type to never give a chance to
Telling the Sincerity of these types is impossible to do.
Type to only know how to get up and leave
Nevermind if you are unsatisfied you fulfilled his needs
Type thats hella disrespectful and selfish to say the least.

"Be Easy" and "Dont"

One night Stand
jumpoff
Never can you say "thats my man"
Bcuz they like sex
with you and all the rest
A conversation they don't want to have
Shawty
Breezy
Their freak
Be Easy
Bcuz they have "needs"
they expect you to meet
They like them easy
In and out, like a drive thru
Is what they all about, is what they ever do
I'm surprised
if they haven't tried to run through you
They think its B.K and they can have they way
Wantin thier cake and eat it too
They don't give a damn about you
They care bcuz you CUTE
Somethin new for them to do, so "be easy"
They "come", they go
Thats all they ever know
And you know
they will try to come back by
for more
but we can't lay up like they like thier personal whore
How dare they think
that we are all that weak
Just lay and make some sounds
while they move around thinking putting it down
They don't give a shit about anything pass
"can i hit"
and once one does
you have just become a was
youre a thing of his past
mostly likely just ass
A part of conversation until,
the new sensation
comes along and with no hesitation they'll move along
If you deny
after they try, they'll throw you some lines to fill your mind
just enough time for them to slide inside
the game is old and its a lil tired and i have no desire to play anymore
Ladies we are in control
We can hold it down on our own
We have to respect our minds bodies and souls
And if they cant respect that, then they gotta go
bcuz we can not submit to to becoming their ho

Don't tempt me,
simply, because you think
I might just give in
Don't text me ,
at night telling me all the things..
you know I like
trying to "excite" me , please
Don't speak,
if the words you say will make me weak
Don't whisper
in my ear
Don't kiss my neck and hold me tight and do everything right
making me not want to fight the feelings that i know are wrong
Don't say to me
how you need me
Its the same song
I have heard TOO TOO along
I know what you need and it is NOT me,
its only my body that you see
Don't talk
about how we can get to know each other
how you want to know me
If its only to get inside that you take the time,
Don't waste mines
Don't look at me shocked and suprised when I tell you, you not getting inside
I don't want to hear what you saying
Cuz i know you playing
Its all game so,
Don't pretend,
Don't act like,
you want to know what my feelings are inside
be for real
you want to know what i feel like inside
Don't ask me to chill, hang, or anything else you choose to use
in replace of
"i wanna fuck"
I know whats up
Don't text me about how you want to get next to me be for real
you want next IN me.
So now its like, what do you do?
YOU BE REAL WITH YO SHIT, STRAIGHT UP WIT NO BULLSHIT

SentimentalInducedMindState

Some odd months
whole summer
no dialing of his number
no afternoon rendavous
and you think i'm okay after so many damn days but sadly i have to say
sometimes like this time i'm not
i still wonder what if and if this
and all the rest of that shit that makes you reminisce
then i think about all the things i miss
its natural to never forget
the first times in life
and this is no different because of what i shared
i'm entitled to still care, years can pass
but memories they still last no matter how many times you repeat .. "Fuck him he can kiss my ass!"
See the first times never really go away
they stay because it didn't matter how many times you rehearsed it in your mind you
still
were
left
disappointed
and werent left with what you wanted
but you have to realize that its life
to be tried and tried again
and some of what you feel will never just die , it may never end
no matter how many and how you try to kill it
you still gon' feel that shit
you realize tho you cant force tears to stay in your eyes, your entitled to cry
its okay cus you learn from it all in some way and see the lesson someday , you just have 2 wait.

PowersThatB_Between

Written in english the other night...

She wants to be his dream girl
wants him to want her like the girls in the magazines
got her thinking sex sells
and well
she tries being his brave n bold beauty with the big ol booty
on call
ready to fulfill her duties
4 her man
can you understand
what she is going thru tryin to keep him as her boo
by bending over backwards literally
and every other which way he wanted depending on the day
Most call her a ho, others say nothing at all and she doesnt give a shit what they say ..
she still falls to her knees every night.


and then i wrote this ...

Sexy n sweet
thats what i b
a tasty treat
a delight to eat
i know he wanna c
how i'm just like ice cream
forget 32 flavors
i'm the only flavor he savors
when i cream we both scream
lickin me is like a dream
i taste just like candy
so come lick me
top me off with whip cream
then gimme what i need
and yea i guess you can say
i'm a bit of a freak.

Damn These

I feel like expressing myself in new ways nowadays so here is a song i decided to do ... i was thinking the same kind of sound as Disturbia,Breakin Dishes, and Question Existing by Rihanna ...The song i decided to do is called "Damn These"...


Close my eyes and its all i ever i see
Think to long and it brings me misery

Its one of those things i thought i
could let go so easily
Got me wondering what this means

Haunting and taunting me
Memories

Pissin me off and i want to scream

See it
hurts so much when things are

just what they seem

Damn these things
these things
we call memories
These damn things
they keep on repeating
these damn things
see they
they drive me crazy


See theres no turning back

i thought i had accepted that fact

But still there is

Uncontrollable feelings

Still existing and i wonder y
Guess its cuz
Deep down inside
is those thoughts i used to hide
and i tried to push them aside
but i see they're here to stay and to that
this is what i have to say..

Damn these things

these things we call memories

These damn things

they keep on repeating

these damn things

see they they drive me crazy

Its like i'm pressin rewind
in my mind, a million times
and now i fill some regret
for all those things i once i had said