Second Guessing.

I cant take the haults & pauses
the stops & stalling
the pausing before calling
and my reflexes kicking in before i hit send
before relapsing again
see i like smooth sailing
though most times feels like your leaving me lost at sea
I realize that maybe its because im not exactly what you need
I just wish we were on the same page
I want to free myself of the frustration of debating whether or not
if your even worth the thought
& if you arent then
why do i waste the time
and i wonder if im the only one partially out of mind
and i wonder if im ever on yours
see you are one of those types of people
that its bittersweet when meeting you because forgetting you
is almost impossible,
With these digital toys I have grown annoyed
I am missing your touch
hands on my body
gripped around my neck
I want to hear your voice
take control & put my mind at ease
make me
laugh again
I just want to be with you
I'd like to think this concept is simple
but life finds a way to complicate it
it much healthier to KISS
lets Keep It Simple Stupid
because now we are
thinking before speaking
no longer knowing honesty
starting and stopping
never making progress
always at a stand still
you start to disappear as i feared in the beginning
so i try to put you completely out of mind
but when temptation nears for me to want to relive those good times
that i relive through the nights
when i toss and turn and grip the sheets
reluctantly i am thinking of you
wondering about the next time when we or if again we would meet.
these feelings are everything but new
and nothing like far and few between
on these nights i wish i had amnesia
and on these days i wish i had some type of anesthesia
to numb how i felt
because at the end of the day
it always remains the same
who knows if the future holds that one day where
the haults and pauses
stops and stalling
pausing before calling
and my reflexes kicking in before i hit send
will end,
but until then
looks like im back to second guessing again.