Selfish?

Selfish
i think not
i just prefer the number one spot

Forgive me
If you think i am selfish
once i start to care
I
just don't like to share

very simple concept

its not jealousy
see its just
i like to be
the center of your affection
i deserve undivided attention
and you can say that im bitchin
but really im just wishing
you'd see that a good thing
that the best thing
lies in front of you
its only soo many times you can go backwards & not regret it
theres only so many times you can go backwards & people wait for you
you can only ask for them to wait for so long
you can only expect them to take so much before they are gone

some nights are personal fights
talking
sometimes yelling
trying to surpress a feeling
but i am failing
feeling slighted
trying to disguise what hides inside
you'd be surprised
by my attitude
and the magnitude all
caused by shit
you do
and all the shit you dont
that i want you to.
when i silence my phone and i sit in my zone
i'd rather be left alone than to be
the
after thought
after you think of her
when she's unvavailable
to make & participate in those unstable relations
im unable to understand ...
the situation at hand
i figure that im not meant to
my mental isnt built for bull
shit
and this is what that is
no offense
but to me
none of it makes sense
some things are meant to be left past tense
when one is trying to be and can be everything and more
i wonder how long it takes to close those doors...
and i wonder sometimes what Im doing wrong ...
only to realize ...
all along
its not me
your the one who needs
to realize some things
but i guess
realizing is not so easy.