♥'s Addiction.

**i switch persons near the end ...

I thought
i kicked this shit
Obviously
i didnt ..
I still need another hit
Im still willing
I still want you in it
....
my life that is ;)
something you do
that puts me under
never seen
never felt so amazing
been needing that feeling
lately
See
this addiction is a strange kind of thing
Cloud 9
i fly by
10
11
12
Help.
I just want a love
to love
but your none of the above
remembering that this drug isnt exclusive to me
you think
i'd be afraid to overindulge
because of
the plunge i take hitting
this hard ground..
where now
i have no voice and i make no sound
somethin like invisible
til the next visit you
make.
its that i know im not
that im not the only one
not the only one addicted
Not the only craving your attention
im not the only one standin in line
Wishing we could convict you for this crime
too bad we are willing to roll every time
im not the only one
feeling something like
hurt inside
after we come down from the high
we all watch as you leave
Goodbye.
Its those things you do that act as strings..
i allow you to continue to pull and push me
When it comes to you
still i have no limits
there's no enough that i can take
tried to find other sources but they all fake
so i wait
til i get the one
the one that beats the first in the game
No one has yet to be compared..
Some times
i stare
at my phone cuz im alone
i need a fix
for you ive become an addict
so give it to me
as i gave to you
i have to have it
so dont bullshit me
this simply is a phase ...
only if i could just get another
to get the
"fire of desire" to rage ;)
then i would turn the page
--
til then
dont judge me
cuz ive been put under
sedated by something like the greatest
love of all
love it when his love stands tall
but im
addicted
and it conflicts with everything i
once believed in
this addiction
is sick and twisted
Depiction of this little picture is perfect
thru my eyes when im high
im so far gone
that i feel like theres no coming home
no 12 step , no new drug, no one else
can help
just yet
cuz
ive strayed to far from my former self that
only my name is left
tho i feel its all right
layin in his arms
im alright
im content
feeling like its heaven sent
because
with him the ultimate high resides.

♥'s Loss.

Its in the "perfect storm"
that good hearts get weathered and worn
see I was once gone a stray
and he came and looked my way
saved the day
turned to me and said "hey"
took my hand and told me
he "understands"
"Baby it will be alright"
Somehow now
we've lost sight
Your love you used to help me sleep at night
But now
we fight
we argue
we yell and scream
we say things
we do mean
leaving our love a shattered dream
we "love" each other so much
that
we've loved each other too much
every waking second together
it shouldnt surprise us
that we too change up like the weather
We did this to ourselves
We are no longer sane
Love is no longer the same
slowly turning into hate
hate turning into rage
the fire inside pushes us to say the things love used to keep caged
At such a young age...
should be easy to turn the page
everybody see's that the
end
is
near
Losing your love was once my biggest fear
But these will be
my
last
tears
my love
my dear
my heart
you've seared
you cheated
and repeated
now love is left weakened
its true things aint what they seem
its true the grass aint always greener
... on the other side
I tried
to trust you
but fuck it.
So I
raise my white flag
and say to love
"Enough , I have had."

Speeding♥'s

Somethings
just
simply
are not meant to exist ...
just
yet
So maybe im not meant to be added to your long lengthy list
its possible that we'll never
get the chance
to
share a kiss
hold a conversation
or
even hold hands
what if we are meant to only say hello and goodbye
wait
maybe we arent even meant to speak
Vice Versa ..
maybe now im not supposed to look you in your eyes
i wonder will there ever come a time where
i'll cry over you
i mean theres nothing more that i'd rather
see is you and i
and you inside
see i want you taking me to new and much needed highs
the timing
must be incorrect
although there were sometimes
where i felt we had a connect
But i expect this from you
You cause the constant phone calls
the texts every hour
the nicknames that'd
bring shame if my mother knew about them
you bring the gifts along with the occasional bullshit
and confusion
i wonder when i know its truly you
They all want to you
i want you bad
just for a minute
maybe for a lifetime
just the chance to call you mine
if your willing
Patience is key
though i know with you easier i'll sleep
We can make each other stronger
though somedays you'll make me weak
Maybe
im to sit and wait for things to play out
it might be you who needs to make the moves
and i am the one to take it easy
make it easy for you to find me
easy to blind me
Come and remind me
its possible
and
that i deserve you
See
Maybe that is how this goes
But i'll never know when i have you
until i do.

Solved.

Distance
Darkness
Silence
Laughter
Comfort me
im content
never let go of my hand.

4 A.M.²

I'm feeling such a vacancy,
I don't feel whole
Wish I could put my finger on it
Acapella- Human -Brandy

4 A.M.²
Its my turn
My turn to somehow be honest
Some days i feel empty because of him
I just simply feel alone
because he's all ive ever known
and
some of you wont ever know
because it gets to personal
and thats where the wall
falls
comes in
and
Thats when
the dark clouds descend
and i tend to become someone else
all because
something and someone is missing
theres a void
that i want so badly to destroy
i feel sometimes
guys dont understand me
My thought process is a bit twisted
And i want to fix them
They are little help tho
Its those ones with the y chromosome
its them ones that always wanna bone that
end up on the other end of my phone
trying to ease their way into me
and somewhere you have to draw the line
Never have i cried over a guy
i mean those boo-whos
because i feared his love i would lose
Never have i felt strongly for SOMEONE
I just always feel strongly about ideas ..
So the idea of love
the idea of not being alone
the idea of having the other
some relations tho ..
you should just end
Call it quits,
hope that person you dont miss,
and say
I deserve more
I just have yet to find the one who understands that
not every girl wants her back blown out
then there are some days where i doubt
that their even looking for that
one that doesnt
the one like me
the one with the mistaken identity
that one who somehow gave guys
the impression that all i was good for was undressin
I wanna love with my clothes on
thank you very much
i want to know all the rest
i wanna start in reverse
lets save the "best" for last
because i put it first before
and now i wonder what kept him more
I just want to know that your not
just going thru the motions
Just to get next in line
Show me some how that you know what
loves like when the lights are on.