The Cycle

Joy and Pain
Love and hate
past and future
First and Last
Black and White
truths and lies
one thing that keeps them tied
that thin line
how easy it is ...
to be on that line
all the time
day and night
always unable
to make up your mind
opposites and sames
What are we to think of this game?
How many times in life do we play it ...
This never ending trend
of having to forgive
not knowing when its really the end ...
and who tends to the broken hearts... and shattered dreams
Since the ones that hurt you usually leave and if they stay things wont ever be the same
Ive started to hold everything against everybody..
holding things against people who've done nothing to me
i never forget anything though..
doesnt matter what they've done
little or small
i remember it all
seems like if i let them back in
the same shit happens again ..
Feel like i cant fuckin win ...
same ol shit
Some situations you just cant fix with gifts or even words ..
none of it is truly the solution
material things
cant help what im feeling
its the one thing you cant buy
Time is the only thing that can change minds ..and heal the inside
There's no one word to fulfill
what i feel
I dont know what to say to get my message across
Im at a lost of what to do
when im not in control
I dont like this roll
I hate losing ... and then losing in a game thats been played before
its like
Closed doors left unlocked ..the past can always welcome it self back in
And its up to you whether out not you want to deal again
I dont think i can play the same game twice but i find myself ready to roll the dice
And take my chances ... again
Somethings pushing me from within to just give
Maybe i wont get the same result in the end ..
Everyone makes mistakes .... but we play the forgiveness game and so things arent the same ... supposedly ...

Truth.

In a world of people who contridict themselves

how am i supposed to tell who's telling

the truth

Its true honesty is the best policy

It doesnt let me lead a life so blindly

So I thank you ever so much ahead of time

if you keep in mind to keep those lies to yourself

Put them on hold, leave them on the shelf and save them for someone else

Because

I

dont want to hear it

have a hard time letting people in life

see it as just a waste of time

since so many people lie

dont have the patience to tell truths from lies

some sound so good

I want to believe it

But then I think about the day

I'd realize what they say is nothin but lies

just to think about the hurt i'd have inside

I dont want to let anyone in my life

Im sensitive beyond belief, but you'd never see that because i wont give you the chance to

Instead im defensive and what i say may sound rude

it keeps me away from some really good people

but people aint always what they seem to be

i dont trust people so easily

this applies especially to guys

all them ones who run game

you should be ashamed

Claming me her and she

saying false things just so you can get between

must be that desperate for sex

Dont fill my head with that bullshit you talkin

i'd appreciate it if you kept on walking

if you not gon tell me the truth

Dont beat around bushes that i can see thru

AND

if its sex you want lets not have a conversation

that'll only add to my frustration

Since i know you dont care about shit I got to say

Since sex is what you want anyway

Dont bother asking for my name

Cuz i cant stand this game

The lines you use the things you say

Its why i cant take compliments ..

See I read between the lines.. even when theres nothing there

When a guy is inclined to say oh she's cute or oh she's fine

that one line that comes next

do she gotta man .. ima make her mine

And when I hear, it appears like this

you tellin me im cute to get me to listen

Asking for my number so you can come and visit

Making me yours by leavin your mark

and when i dont let you in thats when the shit starts

and i'll never hear from you again

Same shit diffrent toilet

whicheva way you want to call it

I

dont like when people have hidden agendas

I have a wall .. built by 17 years of negative ideas

Takes a long time to tear down but seconds to re-build

things that tear it down are things that are real and i can truly feel

If its any other way ..

Ill keep building brick by brick... until I something real hits ... will i be ready to quit.

Perfect World

If this is the last time we speak then wes
should say what we truly feel
we must keep it REAL
dont hold back
as a matter fact
if we say what we mean and mean what we say
then we
should say what we feel and feel what we say
Speak to each other as if we might die today
if we dont wake up tommorrow
imagine the sorrow that are unspoken thoughts will cause us
there's a severity when it comes to clarity
we need it
when shits not clear you could be left wondering for YEARS
using unnecessary tears because of the fear just SAYING IT puts into you
they tell you from the age of three to USE YOUR WORDS
so how come no one speaks no one says what they truly mean
Actions speak louder than words
SO SAY IT
dont debate it
dont wonder
whether or not
if it should be said
if you feel it and you stay silent
if you stay quiet
you have left it all unknown
and knowing that we cant read each other minds
why
dont
we
just...
SAY IT this time
and not just this time but every time
we find ourselves stopping short of the truth
they say the truth hurts
kill me then
thats how bad i want people to say whats real
i cant decipher lines and i dont have the time try
I cant know whats on your mind if you dont
SAY IT
i ask you
why dont we speak from our hearts
why must we continously play parts
play roles ... no one seems to speak from their soul
is it that bad are we that scared of the reactions
are we that scared of what happens?
Lets not leave room for guessing
Time is of the essence , i cant waste it on an assessment of what you might be meaning
leave no room for assuming
If we speak like its our last conversation
then we wont have that temptation
to question our past
the answers are all there you just have to ask
so...
YES that means USE YOUR WORDS
But i was informed only in a PERFECT WORLD.

Untitled.

Yellin'
Screamin'
tears steady streamin
me steady thinkin that i could get my "friend" back
but this is what it is
this is how we act
childish
simple as that.
much more needed to be said
i was in over my head
much more than i could deal with
i couldnt help but to think
It
wasnt over
i wasnt done
Started somethin
i wanted to finish
but you werent in it
it was a
fun n run
i watched you walk away
after you played
and the things i heard you say
still i cant believe today
but cant trust everybody
let alone a nigga
like you who
honestly doesnt have a clue
and doesnt bother to get one
So i wondered some days ..
is this is what it is
is this is how it ends
guess now we cant ever make amends
Funny the things you give for "friends"

Over it.

I'm done fuckin'
y you ask?
Bcuz I have been givin it up
and 4 what
what reason?
guys comin and goin like seasons
No gifts No love
Just sex
nothing next
I mean it wasnt right
but that didnt make me put up a fight
n trust i'd do it again
you have to lose sometimes to win
Extasy filled cries
lines like i love you
are misused
always followed by oooo's
Maybe
that means something to you
But not to me
Can we
for once leave the sheets
please can you talk to me
this time
stimulate my mind and you cant
reach that
thru my thighs
I had to tell you that because looked a little taken a back
You only said "i love you" that
night because I did somethings I never do
You
took me to places I never been
had me facing my fears
your love
i mean sex .. so good had me near tears
best i ever felt in years
Came back 2 back
i mean .. back 2 reality
I saw exactly what've become
confused for one..
cuz
fucking isnt loving just lusting.