2:22 last time I think of you.

tell me what you see when you look into my eyes
i've done damn well
with selling you lies
with this blessed disguise
True, im tired of having to hide
just wish I could trust you
but its cool since you've shown me I cant
Im taking the time to take out my contacts
to see things clear & exact
only looking at the facts
subtracting
the thought of happily ever afters , forgetting about dreams
just taking the time to understand what it all means
getting to know me
getting rid of anything that went along with what if .
now solely focusing on what is
See I
I never took the time to get to know you
Somehow in trying to erase a pain
that had been tossed to the back of my mind
buried it deep ,
so that you never hear that pain when I speak
which means you never got to know me either.
you were trying to erase some pain as well
occupying our bodies which bought us time to escape our minds
before we would be reminded by time that we couldnt run forever
Sooner than later and sooner for us
there went my place to escape
in all honestly we should be looking to ourselves
than subjecting someone else to our emotional hells
Never telling them the fuckedupness they are entering
for those who come after me we I wish you well
If somehow they can understand &
if somehow they lend the helping hands
I didnt have
I'm glad
that somebody , somewhere relieved you from playing solitaire
we must make them queen fast
if they put your ass back together
claiming they're so special
lets see how long the walking on air lasts
after you come down from your extasy induced high
when your crash and you fall oh so very fast
after its no longer sunny in the sky
I wonder what will happen once theres bad times?
....grass aint always greener on that other side.

Lily.

she waits
painted emotions on her face
dress cinched at her waist
long black hair
she stares
into the mirror
wondering why it feels like no one is caring

as it starts to rain
her pain starts to show and there goes her glow
its her who's left last but deserves to be first
never the chosen one when younger
it took looks to get noticed
but her looks are mistaken
and innocence was taken by curiousity
life and curiosity a bitch see
both make you slip up and trip
and thats what we do over dick
forget hearts
its our minds and bodies
that are left broken
its ashame
of the fucking games that are played
its like this is that one where i get half way around the board and you come & bump me back
to what feels like a hundred steps away from the place you dreamed to be
you say
"sorry"
but your words mean shit to me
so simply dont waste your breath
for a change give lies a rest
speak the truth this time
See i thought that we left games back in the day
when we stopped jumping rope
when we started to lose hope that Santa Claus was real
when we pinky swore and we thought "M*A*S*H" could predict our futures
things have changed and games are no longer same
she chokes on her pains
she's played games but
this is nothing she's ever felt before
playing games is no longer fun
been around the board one too many times
left with her last life
what is she to do?