♥Sick

My mascara runs down my face
and with drinks i chase them
now im playing tag with myself
now im taking every bottle off the shelf
Trying to somehow fill that space
i tried so hard to put you into
push you into
pull you into
but
we just dont fit
and it sounds like simple shit
stll im having fits
I sink deeper and deeper
into this pain
and some days
im so used to the hurt
i cant even feel it
I become numb
and
i cant even
get up and run
from this dark place
that seems to always find my face
regardless of the lies i hide behind
Wish there
was a warning sign
a "dont enter"
or
a "caution inside" sign
Just some kind of guide
that would have pulled me aside and gave me the time
to think
Of the bullshit
and all the hurt it might bring
with these drinks i cling to my those days
where you made my heart sing
Now it just burns
because of how bad i want you to return
it does it really have to hurt this bad
for the lesson to be learned?
now my heart stings
because
i still bleed that love i wanted you to have
And as
i refill this empty glass
i wonder
how long
how will this empty feeling last?
how long
how long does it take to just get past?

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Say You'd Stay

As you walk towards my door

Im so used to letting you go

Not knowing if or when we would do this again

Feeling indifferent to this routine

I cant continue anymore

So

As you leave

My heart calls out to you

Before my mind can stop my heart

Here i am speaking

I'm giving it all to you

Telling my secrets and pushing my limits

Shit, its

so much that i've kept built up

'Fraid if i tell you

it would end our rendevous

It just might be too much

and if it is then

we can always hang it up

and say we've had enough

See

I never intended to ever get to this point

Figured I wouldnt fall under

Swore i would ignore the things you'd say

Swear I'd never feel this way

Since I do

Its best that I tell you

Are you listening?

Im begging

Now

I'm pleading

How you've got me wrapped up so easily is beyond me

Only thing left is to get on my knees

baby

i ask then

then will you be able to see

just how much i need you to stay

Why don't you see things my way

Something said ,when you left that bed

for me not to not follow behind

Something says your only here to recieve

my heart just doesnt want to believe

Mind tells me to be still and let you go

i tried so many times so long ago

my heart just cant do so

Please dont make this so hard for us

just tell me you'd stay

I cant stand to see you leave like you used to

what do you say

baby

why dont you stay

Classic

Imagine
A love
stringed together by key things like
Integrity
A love filled with
Passion
A love lasting because of discipline
listening
to each other
A love starting with
Trust
I want to blow the dust off
Ol' School Love
Ressurect the days
When taking women out wasn't considered a payment plan for the pussy
Back to not moving so fast
flying pass all the essentials we should be paying attention to
We dont have to move too slow
together just be willing to grow
get to know all the little things
All our wrongs we work to make right
Together
I want to find the silver lining in love
without the tears without the lying
Baby, It is with you
I am trying.

Leaving.

I didnt say you can go
I never gave you the okay
to walk away
I wasnt finished
I was still in it
We were no where close to done
things were next to perfect
Nothing came close to being with you
I ask myself will this ever end...
i guess good things really do
I wasnt thru
I wanted to remain true to only you
You promised me you'd stay
but today shows me otherwise
this must be on of those
"blessings in disguise"
because i cant figure out why
...
..
now is the time
you have to leave..
When you left
know that you took my words
because i dont know what to say anymore
minus i love you
but you cant hear me
im alone and talkin to myself
hiding from my reality
and sadly i dont want to find it
when i come to i'll realize ...
i have to live without you
somethin that feels impossible to do
leaving me shouldnt have been a option nor a choice
when i have to speak on your absence
i have no voice
Im constantly talkin to myself as if you are there
but you've left.. and im far from right
i fear for my mental health
I start to lose sight of my life
You didnt have the option of leaving me
who knew "forever" was deceiving
who would have thought
id be receiving that call
ending it all...
im in a mood thats past confused
its true
expect the unexpected
i need you here with me
i need you near to me
i want to argue like we used too.
i want you to piss me off
if anything ..
i just want you here leaving me is not an option
I see you when i close my eyes
i wake up and your there
staring me in my face every place i go
...and i know in my mind ...
that little sanity that has been pushed over to the side
your not even alive ...
I realize that its unbearable to survive
without you
you lied to me
we were supposed to be much more than the tears i cry at night
because thats
when it hits me that im in this shit alone
As a lay i ask myself for the hundredth time
why are you stuck in my mind
I still hear the words you've said
love scenes play in my head
remembering our conversations brings temptations
for me to join you ..
So no you dont get to leave ...
because i wont let you go.