when no ones home
when your alone
you for some reason ring my phone
somehow you think you run here still
something like my heart i no longer hold you near
i no longer go along with that bullshit
those hit it & quit its and those come back laters
them times when your
not looking for a laugh
but looking for some ass
them late night texts
on how you wish you could be sexin me
nigga please
I can not be that one
made that mistake before but its okay
because Im done
the jump off role isnt fun
either i am or im not
either it is or it isnt
either you care or you dont
there is no half way
so either you win my love or you lose me love
this is not that place where you can have it your way
no in betweens
which means no longer
will you find yourself between these thighs during your spare time

"Megan"

Part 1

megan pulls into her drive way
dark outside 10.30pm

she gets out the car with her purse gets chinese food out the passenger seat heads in the house ..
once in the house she kicks off her 4 inch black boots & leather jacket & wonders why she ever spent 80 dollars on shoes

she tosses the food on the kitchen counter along with the mail , phone, keys
she walks to her room grabs her laptop and adds that to the shit load of items on the kitchen counter

megan goes to her bedroom & stares in the mirror ... as she takes off her 4 sets of earrings .. and pulls her hair into a bun , looking at her blond ends and black roots , its a reminder that its time to get her hair dyed again ..
she looks at the tattoo on her neck and starts to remember the night she got it ...
in an attempt to not think about the past she starts to undress

after leaving her room she's changed clothes ... into jogging pants that read kiss my ass across the back and a white camisole.

trying to remember what day it was she realizing there was nothing on tv that night so instead she grabs her laptop, phone , chinese food & heads to the couch and watches music videos...

pretend.

excuse the suck ass title.. i cant do titles for some reason lately..


we have mastered the art of this game
We never lay together long enough for our hearts to start beating the same
talking to each other just enough to remember names
Never confusing the reasons we get together
just never
forget the rules to this game
the second you forget your position you end up getting replaced
steady wondering why you put yourself in the game anyway
& its not like cupid aimed at you
because these are games
& we're not fools
this is not love
so why are am i so
stuck.
following his speed not because you let you take the lead
its just so you don’t get too far ahead or fall too far behind
Playing tricks with your minds
& this is not love
so why do we act so blind..
String around your finger so you remember
To keep hearts out of it
So you never forget to silence what its saying on those days when
you just want someone to talk to
just want to hold his hand
want someone who fucking understands
when you just want them to help you put a smile on
you just want that one back who you would walk miles for
question I continously ask
where did my friend go?
& i know
that emotions are not be shown in this game
the truth has been masked
see
I wont tell you its like a blow to my heart when you leave me
i won't tell you how much it pains me when we are not speaking
I wont say I think about us for almost half my day
i tried to stop chasing these things & fucking around with these dreams
they just keep haunting me because I know i can do better than this situation
learning how to fight temptations
because the reality is we've just mastered the art of pretend.

misconception.

so i see them walking down the street
holding hands and laughing so happy
bright skys and rainbows
Wishing i had what it appears she has
Thinking to myself how lucky she must be
how great she must feel
that love must be real
the smile on her face cant possibly be painted on
I wonder to myself what its like to be in her shoes
not knowing that glady she would give them away
as he looked into her eyes
if i was her it would have melt my insides
for her she's just looking at the devil in disguise
Wishing she could somehow turn back the hands of time
when she was strong enough to not to relapse
before MAC covered the black
before she fell for the line im sorry
before she started accepting apologies on a daily basis
prior to wearing sunglasses in the winter
long before making up a million excuses
as to why she stays around after love knocked her down
tired of not sleeping at night
surrounded by her fears
hoping for the end of this fight for her life
if i asked to trade places she would quickly comply
graciously thank me
since everynight and everyday she is trying to conjur up some way to leave her pains
rain on me on repeat, she just wants no more drama
her blue skies are gray & what I see today
is someone who wishes things were as beautiful as they seem
someone who is just trying to piece together broken dreams.